Nightmare
by Flamefyre
Summary: Follow orders. Find intel. Kill anyone who gets in the way. Organization XIII. It was the way they were all taught, and the way they lived. But will it last forever? AxelRoxas, AU
1. Prologue

The smell of oil was thick in Axel's nostrils as he threw aside the can. His black hood was pulled up, and only his mouth and nose were showing. He crouched down and grasped the neck of the prostrate body lying before him, pulling the man into a sitting position.

"I'll give you one more chance. _What did you tell them?_" he rasped, releasing his grip so the man could speak.

"I—I don't know what you're talking about! Please…!" Tears were coursing down the man's panicked face as he stared up at Axel's cloaked form.

Axel stood and backed away. Reaching into a pocket of his long black coat, he pulled out a box of matches. The man on the ground saw the flame when the match was struck and panicked even more, his pleading escalating. Axel slammed him into the ground with a well-placed foot in the center of the chest. The burning match lit up the part of his face that was visible from under the hood. One corner of his mouth turned up in a wicked smirk.

"Liar, liar, pants on fire," he whispered, his voice quiet, deadly.

The match fell.

* * *

The punch would have broken his nose if he hadn't blocked it. Xigbar was always bitching that enemies didn't pull their punches, so neither would he. The blond boy sparring with him had felt his knuckles many times, and wasn't anxious to be reacquainted with them any time soon.

Xigbar jabbed at the blond boy's ribs, was deflected, and turned to land a roundhouse kick to the side of his opponent's head, sending the boy halfway across the room. The blond curled up as he hit the wall with a _thud_, arms coming up to protect his head.

"Brat, ya forgot to watch my feet!" Xigbar bellowed. "What if I had really been tryin' ta hurt ya?" He strode over to the boy and offered him a hand.

The blond picked himself up, holding his head with a moan. "You mean you _weren't_?" he groaned, touching the tender skin of his cheek and spitting out a mouthful of blood. "You almost knocked my teeth out, old man!"

Xigbar was preparing a heated reply when they both heard someone clapping.

"Roxas, all right! Fight, fight, fight. Looks like you got your ass kicked good this time." The blond boy whipped his aching head around, glaring.

"Shut up, Axel," he grumbled as he caught sight of the tall figure. Axel pushed back his hood, revealing a sharp, angular face with acid-green eyes, framed by long, spiked red hair. Black teardrops were tattooed under his eyes and his grin was fox-like and mocking.

"Aw, is that any way to greet your best friend, Roxy?" Axel whined, his grin never slipping. Roxas scowled.

"Get away from me, creep. And don't call me Roxy." Despite the harsh words, a small smile tilted Roxas' lips. "How was your job?"

Axel's face lit up. "I got to burn things," he said, deliriously happy. "God, Rox, you should've seen the flames. It was _amazing_."

Roxas laughed. "You really like it when people don't cooperate, don't you?" he said mildly.

"Well, of course. Otherwise it's no fun."

Roxas laughed again. "Well, come on. I'm hungry and my face hurts."

Xigbar scowled. "Hold it. We ain't done, brat! You've still got ten minutes left on the clock!"

"Can it, old man," Axel shot over his shoulder as he threw an arm around his friend. "Take it out of my pay or something."

"WHY DOES EVERYONE CALL ME OLD?" Xigbar fumed after them. "This is premature gray hair, bastards! Premature, I tell you!"

Axel and Roxas grinned at each other. "Whatever you say, Gramps!" they yelled in unison, sprinting out of the room and down the hall. Xigbar's curses followed them as they ran to Roxas' room, bolting the door behind them.

"Ah, he's pissed," Axel got out, laughing so hard tears were running down his face. Roxas was in a similar situation.

"Oh my God, he's gonna kill me tomorrow," the blond giggled, collapsing on the bed in a fit of laughter. Axel calmed himself down and leaned against the wall.

"Wanna go see what's for dinner?" he asked finally. Roxas raised his eyebrow.

"Should we let him cool off first?"

"Naw, then we'll be late and Xemnas'll have our asses. It'd be a shame to lose such a specimen," Axel replied, turning to display his backside and looking in the mirror intently. "Don't you think?"

* * *

They entered the dining room, fervently avoiding Xigbar and the daggers he looked at them, and parted to sit in their assigned chairs.

"Good evening." Xemnas greeted everyone from his place at the head of the table. "Axel, report." Obediently, Axel got to his feet.

"The target refused to tell me anything—nothing about the conspiracy, not even if he was involved or not. So I burned him." He sat down.

"Thank you, Axel. As you all can see, we're having no luck with this. The client is displeased. I want leads, and I want them now. Xaldin, you do some digging on the company. Find out if there are any deep dark secrets we need to know about. Axel, Roxas, when he finds information, I'm putting you two on assassination duty. Am I clear?"

"Yes, Xemnas," everybody chorused.

"Good. Now, let's eat."

A/N: I don't own Kingdom Hearts. This disclaimer applies to the whole story.


	2. Chapter 1

They lay on the roof, looking up at the stars and making up their own constellations. Axel pointed up into the sky.

"There's one. See? It looks like a cow."

Roxas squinted. "I see a moose, not a cow."

Axel pushed himself up on one elbow. "Fuck you! It's a cow!" He would have continued his rant, but Roxas had a strange look on his face. "Rox? What's up?"

"How did you end up here, Axel?" the younger boy asked, looking over at him with earnest blue eyes. "I mean, I know Xemnas got you off the streets. But how did you get on the streets?"

Axel sighed. "Roxy, that's not something I want to talk about, any more than you want to talk about _your_ past."

"That's different," Roxas protested. "I don't _remember_ my past. The only memories I have are of Xemnas plucking me off the streets in the pouring rain when I was wandering around the city, not knowing who I was."

"Let's just say I had a bad childhood, Rox, and leave it at that." Axel would say no more. He felt bad for denying that willful face, especially after everything the boy had been through. He had been no more than a shivering bundle when Xemnas had introduced the thirteenth member of Organization XIII. Axel remembered it like it was yesterday, even though ten years had passed. He'd been thirteen at the time, new to the trade but not to the lifestyle, and one look at the small, shuddering child and he'd known that this boy would rise to the top. There was fire in his deep blue eyes, fire and pain, and Axel knew that this boy, this Roxas, would be a formidable enemy to have.

Of course, they only discovered his name a few months later when parts of his memory returned. Vexen had examined the boy and judged that there was no physical reason why his memory had been wiped blank; there was no head trauma of any kind, which led the scientist to believe that the trauma had been emotional, and even with therapy, the only thing Roxas was eventually able to recall was his name. Vexen had made an educated guess that the blond was about seven years old, and Xemnas required no more. To be a member of the Organization, all one needed was a name.

Roxas had indeed come far, Axel mused. Not half a year after the boy had arrived Axel had taken him under his wing, and before long they were thick as thieves, the age gap between them seemingly forgotten.

"Axel? Axel, are you even listening to me?" Roxas' voice broke into the redhead's thoughts.

"Huh?"

Roxas sighed. "Never mind. Forget it. Our pasts don't even matter anymore, do they?"

Axel looked back up at the inky black sky dotted with silver. "Nope, Roxy, they sure don't. We don't need pasts to kill." He flashed a grin at his young friend, and Roxas returned it.

"Speaking of killing—" Roxas broke off as there was a humming sound, and they both jerked as the electric current flashed through their bodies. Axel rubbed his wrist where the shock bracelet cut into his skin. "Looks like Xemnas found something," Roxas said quietly.

"Let's go," Axel agreed, uneager to feel the bite of electricity again. They slipped off the roof and back through the window into Axel's room, and from there they made their way to the common room.

* * *

No one else but Xemnas was there when Roxas and Axel entered the room. "Xaldin has something," the silver haired man said by way of greeting. "Half a year ago, Strife, Inc. embezzled a large sum of money from the client's company. They have no love for each other, and Strife refuses to return the money. I want you to give them a warning."

Axel cleared his throat. "This warning wouldn't have anything to do with a dead body, would it?" he asked with a wicked grin. Roxas snorted his laughter at the redhead's eagerness.

"You always were easily pleased, Axel," Xemnas said, looking down his nose at them. "I want you to get rid of someone in Strife's family. It doesn't matter who it is, but make it someone he will miss. His house is impregnable, some say, but I have no doubts that the two of you will get it done. Do not think to return until the job is done."

* * *

"So what do you think?" Roxas asked. "The wife? The son? The mistress?"

Axel snorted as he put up his hood. "There is no mistress, you twit," he said. "I say the wife."

"I say the son," Roxas objected. "I mean, think of what it would be like to wake up and go to your kid's room to find nothing but their bloody corpse?"

"Yeah, but think of waking up _beside_ that bloody corpse." Axel could feel his blood humming with anticipation as they walked through the shadows.

"Too risky." Roxas discarded the idea. "Let's do the son. He won't be in the same bedroom, so there's almost no chance that Strife will wake up. We don't know if he's a light sleeper or not, and Xemnas expressly said not to kill him. If he wakes up while we're slitting his wife's throat, we'd have no choice.

"You're no fun, Roxy," Axel whined. "Take a few leaps of faith for once."

"Not with this," Roxas said firmly. "You saw how uptight Xemnas was. This job's important. We'll do the son."

Not a quarter-hour later Axel was opening up the security panel on the side of the Strife mansion. Wires ran everywhere, and Axel knew that if he cut the wrong one, it could cost them their lives. Picking through the brightly colored strings, he separated one from the rest and snipped it with the wire-cutters in his hand.

"That should do it," Roxas whispered. "Come on." They crept around the house to the back door, flattening themselves against the wall as they saw a beam of light approach. Axel waited until the security guard had moved past them before he slipped up behind him, silent as a wraith. With a savage jerk, the redhead broke the unsuspecting man's neck with a resounding _crack_. Axel and Roxas both froze, listening for sound of stirring within the house, but they heard nothing.

Roxas had crept to the door and was deftly picking the lock. His hands were skilled and the door was swinging open in the work of a minute. The hinges were well-oiled and made no noise as they moved.

The two slipped inside the house. They both saw well in the dark, and Roxas motioned for Axel to stay and watch his back. The redhead nodded and disappeared into the shadows, keeping a peeled eye as Roxas moved quietly down the hallway and around the corner.

Axel waited, moving through the house as well but keeping to the shadows and watching for any guards. He saw Roxas disappear into the room he knew belonged to Cloud Strife's son. Xemnas had provided them with layouts of the house before they'd left the Organization headquarters.

Several minutes passed, and Axel shifted. Where was Roxas? How long did it take to cut someone's throat? His ears pricked up as a floorboard creaked. _Shit, Roxas, where are you?_ Just as Axel was about to go and drag the blond from the room himself, he saw the familiar figure moving quickly towards him. Even in the dark his expression was clear. Roxas' face was milk-white, his blue eyes large in their sockets as panic washed his features.

"What the fuck happened?" Axel hissed as loud as he dared.

"We have to go," Roxas answered. "We have to go _now_. I hit a creaky floorboard, and I heard people stirring." Axel caught his arm.

"What the fuck happened?" he repeated. "You were in there for ages—"

"Axel, please," Roxas bit out. "Now isn't the time. Let's _go_." With a curse, Axel obeyed, and they slipped outside into the night, darting across the lawn and into the forest, running lightly but quickly.

When they were a mile away and panting hard, Axel stopped running and grabbed Roxas by the shoulders. "Did you do it?" he snarled. "Is it done?"

"Yes! God, Axel, let go!" The redhead obeyed.

"Will you tell me what happened?" he asked, his voice still a harsh whisper.

Roxas shook his head, his face still white as death. "He woke up," the boy murmured. "I hit a creaky floorboard and he woke up, he _saw _me, and I did it, I—killed him, but he choked, he made a noise, and I could _feel_ people moving upstairs, and I knew they'd woken up, and—" He broke off, breathing hard. "It's done, Axel. Let's go back."

Axel followed his friend back to the Organization, but something was nagging at him. There was something Roxas wasn't telling him. He left it alone, though, realizing that whatever had happened in the boy's bedroom had shaken Roxas to the core, and he wasn't ready to talk about it.

They arrived back at headquarters, and Roxas still hadn't spoken. Axel sent him to bed and made the report to Xemnas himself. Roxas went gladly, giving his friend a grateful look before heading to his room and undressing for bed. He ran his knife under cold water and scrubbed the blood from its surface in a daze before curling up in bed and squeezing his eyes shut. Memories came back to him unbidden.

_Roxas crept into the room as silent as the grave. He could see the figure of a boy outlined on the bed, sleeping peacefully. Drawing his knife, the blond made his way to the bedside. As he did so, a floorboard creaked, the noise seeming loud enough to wake the dead in Roxas' ears. He froze as the body stirred, and a bedside lamp switched on. A boy who couldn't have been more than a few years older than Roxas sat up in bed, blinking. He had spiky brown hair and large blue eyes, so similar to Roxas' own…_

_Too late, Roxas remembered that he'd lowered his hood for better vision, and he felt almost naked as the Strife boy looked at him squarely. The boy's mouth dropped open. "Roxas?" he whispered as if in awe. _

_Roxas' eyes widened and he froze at the sound of the voice, the hand holding the knife trembling. Quicker than a flash and before he even knew what he was doing, his other hand shot out and gripped the other boy by the hair. With a jerk, he drew the blade across his throat, feeling warm blood hit his cheek as it sprayed. The boy choked, a sound that was much too loud to Roxas' sensitive ears. He could hear the other members of the household stirring in their beds, and he panicked, fleeing the room and the boy that had recognized him, the boy he had no memory of, the boy he'd killed._


	3. Chapter 2

Axel was worried. It had been two weeks since he and Roxas had snuck into Strife's house and killed his son, and the blond boy had barely spoken a word to him since. Now, they were seated on the roof again, the only place away from prying eyes and ears, and Axel was determined to find out what was troubling his friend.

"Roxas," he began. The boy looked over at him, eyes sunken in a gaunt face. It looked as if he hadn't been eating or sleeping well. "Will you tell me what the hell is up?"

Roxas rolled his eyes and laughed, a weird not-funny laugh that Axel hated immediately. "Nothing's wrong, Ax. I've just had a stomachache lately."

"Bullshit." Axel's voice was calm, but there was a dangerous edge to it that even Roxas couldn't ignore. "Ever since the Strife job you've been fucking up. Last week Luxord almost broke your nose in training. You haven't let anyone do that in _years._ What's on your mind?" The redhead trained his acid-green eyes on Roxas, refusing to look away.

"I told you," Roxas began, jumping when Axel's fist crashed into the rooftop between them.

"Yes, you've told me," Axel snarled. "You've told me pretty little lies that you're _oh so fine_ and _life's just peachy_. I'm not buying, Rox. _What the fuck is going on in your head?"_ His voice had risen in volume until he was nearly shouting. Roxas frowned, unafraid. His eyes clouded.

"I…"

"Yes?" Axel prompted.

"I want to leave, Ax."

"Nice try. You're not getting away until you tell me what's—"

"No, Axel. I want to _leave_. I want to leave Organization XIII."

* * *

Axel caught his opponent under the chin with a well-placed kick, dropping the other man like a stone. Rage was pounding through his veins, turning his vision red, and all he wanted to do was _kill_. Straddling his adversary, he punched him in the face, over and over again, blind with fury. He barely felt Luxord and Larxene's arms wrap around him and pull him off the figure lying prostrate on the floor. He was fighting, trying to get back, trying to get something in his hands that he could maim and twist and kill.

"Axel!" Luxord bellowed, shaking him roughly, to no avail. Only several sharp blows to the face cleared the redhead's vision and he collapsed, exhausted. Larxene was up in his grill in seconds.

"What the fuck was that, fuckface?" she snarled. "Look what you did to Marluxia. Look!" She grabbed his hair and forced him to watch a bloody and beaten Marluxia struggle to his feet. "This is _training_! You don't go that far in training!"

Axel tuned her yelling out, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths. "I'm sorry," he bit out. "I lost control."

"Damn right you did," Marluxia said through a mouthful of blood, which he spat onto the white floor. "What the hell is wrong with you, Axel?"

Axel wrenched himself free from Luxord's strong grip and glared at them all before turning on his heel and stalking out of the room. He stomped to his room and slammed the door behind him, falling onto his bed with a groan. He couldn't get Roxas' voice out of his head.

"_I want to leave, Axel._"

"For God's sake, why?" Axel asked his ceiling, half expecting it to give him an answer. Life with the Organization was all Roxas had, and now he wanted to leave that too. _And me,_ Axel thought. _He wants to leave me too_. Roxas was his best friend, someone he could laugh with and tell secrets to and let his guard down around. If Roxas left, Axel would be alone. The redhead thumbed the tattoo on the inside of his left arm, tracing the roman numerals over and over again. Leaving the Organization had never even crossed his mind, ever. Life as an assassin was better than anything Axel had ever known, and it was the same for Roxas…at least, it had been.

There were footsteps outside in the hallway, steps that paused in front of his door. Axel sat up, looking over to see Roxas' spiky blond head.

"Axel, I…" Roxas trailed off, looking down and biting his lip. "Never mind." He turned, shutting the door and resuming his walking. Axel frowned to himself, a nagging feeling tugging at his gut. He'd read the emotions in his friend's blue eyes. Sorrow, fear, loss.

Loss. The redhead jumped to his feet, tearing out of his room and down the hallway in the opposite direction of Roxas. He slipped through doorways, following paths only few knew of, and finally emerged in the dark alley outside the Organization's headquarters. A dull lamp was the only light, and Axel melted into the shadows, waiting.

Not two minutes later, he heard footsteps, and Roxas trudged by his hiding place, a scowl on his face. Axel stepped into the light.

"So, your mind's made up," he said softly. Roxas paused, his back to his best friend.

"Where did I come from? I have to know," he said. Axel pushed himself off the wall he'd been leaning against.

"You can't turn on the Organization! You get on their bad side and they'll destroy you!" Anger and hurt laced his words.

Roxas bowed his head, still refusing to look at Axel. "No one would miss me," he replied, disappearing into the darkness of the night.

"That's not true!" Axel yelled after him. He clenched his fists and drove one into the stone wall of the alley, splitting his knuckles. "I would…"

* * *

The next meal was breakfast, and after a sleepless night, Axel joined his family at the table. Roxas' spot was glaringly empty, and they waited in silence for him to join them. Axel clenched his fists to stop his hands from trembling.

"Saix," Xemnas said quietly, his voice still echoing in the large room. "Find Roxas." The silver-haired man took a sip of water from his glass and turned his attention to Axel. "Axel, do you know where he is?"

"I'm not his keeper!" Axel snapped like a wounded animal. "I have no idea where he is." That much, at least, was true. He dropped his eyes to the tabletop and glared at it, hearing Saix exit the room. They all waited in silence for nearly half an hour until the blue-haired man returned, chest heaving from a run through the halls.

"He's gone," Saix reported.

"What did you say?" Xemnas asked, his voice quiet and deadly.

"He is nowhere to be found," Saix repeated, his golden eyes guarded.

In an uncharacteristic show of emotion, Xemnas swept his arm across the table, knocking his water glass to the floor. It shattered into a flower of shards frosting over the floor. Everyone jumped. "Leave, all of you," Xemnas gritted through his teeth, and the rest of the Organization was more than happy to oblige.

Axel was nearly to the safety of the hallway when Xemnas' voice halted his steps. "Not you, Axel. Stay." The redhead closed his eyes in dismay, but turned around to find Xemnas right in front of him. The man's face was impassive as usual, but his eyes burned with fury. Axel wasn't fooling himself. Xemnas was enraged.

"What do you know of this?" the man snapped.

"I don't know anything," Axel replied sullenly. The next thing he knew, Xemnas had backhanded him sharply across the face with such force that Axel's lip split. His head snapped to the side. "I don't," he repeated.

"You're lying to me," his boss said in that same deadly voice. "You think I don't know what happened when I sent you to Strife's house?"

"_What_ happened?" Axel asked, genuinely bewildered now. Xemnas, his eyes burning, thrust a photograph in front of his face. The redhead studied it, recognizing the subject even though the picture was grainy. "Strife's son," he murmured. Across the boy's neck was a deeply puckered scar.

"_Alive_," Xemnas hissed. "You didn't kill him. He was taken to a secret area and patched up. It was merely luck that I came by this photograph. Why isn't he _dead_?" the man thundered.

Axel gaped, his mind spinning. _Roxas let him live._ There could be no mistake. There was no way the boy would have lived unless Roxas purposely missed the jugular vein. No one who had been trained by the Organization could make such a mistake. Clearly, Roxas had wanted the boy to live. _But why? It's not like he had any trouble killing children before. He's killed _babies_ before without blinking an eye. Why now?_ "I…" Axel stammered. "I stood guard. Roxas was the one who…he said he was dead!" Dimly he realized he'd pretty much just sold out his best friend, but he was so shocked that the words kept pouring out.

Xemnas hit him again. "You knew he was going to leave, didn't you?"

"I…yes." Axel hung his head in shame. Xemnas seized the front of his black coat and yanked him forward so that they were nose to nose.

"You have betrayed us and everything we stand for," the man said harshly. "Normally I'd cut your tongue out and make you a dusk without a second thought, but I like you, Axel. You're good at what you do and you have more potential than anyone else here. I will give you one chance to earn back my trust. _One._ Bring Roxas back to me alive so that he might be dusked and perhaps I will let you have your place back. Until then, I will be watching you." Xemnas released the redhead's coat.

Axel was staring at him in horror. _Roxas…is going to be dusked?_ It was the worst nightmare of one who betrayed the Organization. The victim's tongue was cut out, his eyes sewn shut, and he was doomed to live out his life in the dungeons below headquarters. _Roxas…_ "I—I can't," Axel choked. Xemnas hit him a third time, opening his split lip even wider.

"You will. One chance, Axel. One chance only."


End file.
